I didn’t search for You when I was a child,
Probably didn’t have much understanding of any kind!
Sermons of parents & elders and all the dos & don’ts,
Were never questioned though meanings not known;
Accepted all those as truth to make me believe in You,
And as You were there, didn’t search for You!
You were there….
In mother’s daily pujas, sounds of bell & conchshell,
In the family chorus of devotional songs & prayers,
In the mantras & hymns of priests in all the temples,
In all the sweets & fruits in the offering plates!
You were there….
In all my endless pranams to invisible You-
Before the exam, after getting the Q paper,
Before the results, after coming back home,
Before the cricket, football match or any bout!
When I grew up, understood a little,
Couldn’t accept anything as it is;
Questioned and tried to find the truth,
Are You there, where are You?
If You are really there….
In the colours & fragrance of flowers and songs of birds,
In the floating clouds and dancing peacock before the rain,
In love, kindness and all the good human deeds,
Throughout the universe in all grains & seeds;
Then are You also there….
In the wailings of all the hungry men during famines,
In the debris after ravaging Tsunami, Amphan or earthquakes,
In the devastating viruses of plauge, swineflu or covid19,
In all the destructions by men constantly driven by six evils?
Didn’t get any satisfying answer, so kept searching..
In the scriptures of Veda, Vedanta, Upanishad, Gita,
Bible, Koran, Gurugranth Dharmapada & Talmud,
In the preechings of Ramakrishna, Sadguru & Ravishankar,
In the reasonings of science and laws of natrure.
I am not enlightened enough even in my twilight years,
So I continue to search dwelling deep inside,
Are you only a belief,
A complete surrender without reasonings,
I am You or You are me??
Kamal Ranjan Acharyya
20th July, 2020
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